Julia Middleton's thoughts on leadership » listening

Are some leaders deaf to negativity?

Julia — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 07:51:17 +0000

Made a pitch this morning to an international organisation. The pitch team regrouped to give each other feedback.
Very helpful reminder from a colleague “Julia never say anything negative .” Even if its only one negative point amongst plenty of positive ones. For some leaders negative points are signs of weakness; not being on side.

He is right I have been told this before and forgotten it.

But I have been thinking that maybe this is why some leaders have limited ability to hear what people think. Either because its not worth telling them if its negative. Or because by the time you have contorted your point to appear to be positive, it is almost impossible to find.

Remembering Admiral Sir Peter White

Julia — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 09:42:28 +0000

Opening The Times this morning I saw an obituary for Admiral Sir Peter White. Reading it, I would love to say that I was thinking “He was a great man whom I was privileged to know” but in fact I was thinking “Another great man whom I had the privilege to know and whom I did not listen to enough”.

When I was 23 and in my first job (utterly loving it) at the Industrial Society, I was told that some old admiral was coming to join the team and his desk was going to face mine. He was wonderful. And his desk was totally beautiful – utterly and deeply tidy. The pencils were all pointed and in rows. He used to gaze across at my desk - a tip! He has a very lovely mouth that formed into half smiles. And that was the look he used to give me about my desk.

It must have been a nightmare for him being around me. This was a man who had been there to witness the atrocities of the Japanese invasion in Shanghai, who had been at the sinking of the Bismarck and the Scharnhorst, been at the Dunkirk evacuation, who had liberated POW’s in Japanese camps and was one of the first into Nagasaki. None of this did I know or bother to find out. And never, ever, not once in the two years that we sat opposite each other did he ever once make me feel like the silly child that I must have been. He did though repeatedly and unsuccessfully tell me to tidy my desk. He also used to say to me – when I was off to do something that he knew I was worried about – “stomach in, chest out”. He was a deeply affectionate man and I knew he cared for me too.

May I care for young people as he did. And may I remember as I get older that young people aren’t really much interested in past glories.

Leaders need to listen

Julia — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:20:42 +0000

I spoke for a long time with a business leader in China about leadership. It made me realise that as a Westerner if I hear the words “Leadership” and “China” in one sentence my mind immediately computes “Mao” and to some extent turns off. Yours might too.

So it was interesting to go further. He talked about the Confucian roots of everyday leadership in China: of the credibility of the word “wisdom” in the context of leadership; of the commitment to forests rather than trees, so that systems deliver; of the culture of cultivating yourself before you lead. He said that Chinese culture is very old and is now perhaps being reborn.

And he talked about what the Chinese perceive Western leadership to be about: the drive to perform ever better individually; the dismissing of words like “wisdom” as wet; the drive to specialise and to compartmentalise.

As ever, the temptation to be defensive and make easy retorts needs resisting lest something important passes us by.